I’m Just Not That Into You…

So since I’ve been gone, there’s been A LOT going on y’all.

The character in this event’s name has been changed to avoid legal issues.

Dating in 2018 has been a chore. In my experience, the men I’ve come across have been very different from what I grew up learning to look for; They are obsessive, have plenty of female traits, and honestly downright weird.

Story Time!

Dennis and I met through the DMs, there was flirting, and then we went on to date. The date was terrific; great conversation, excellent vibes, and bomb food. In my head, I’m like okay… I can see a second date and a potential friendship. While we were eating dinner, this man tells me on his own accord that he sees a future with me and that I am wife material. After he finished his spiel, he asked me what I thought about it. I told him let’s just go with the flow and see where life takes us if its meant to be it will be (I did… just…. meet you).

So on the high of a good date, we take it farther and go for a walk. We walked, talked some more, and Mary Jane accompanied us. It was cool. I had no complaints. Then….. he asked me what I was doing on Saturday later that week. I told him “I’m going to Dave and Buster’s.” His response left me perplexed. “Well, I guess I have to fall back.”

Now in my mind I’m like; fall back from what, this is the first date? I watched this man spiral into his thoughts right before my eyes. So after his trip to the abyss (the abyss the sunken place lol), he then says “I guess you got options?” Of course, I do! I thought, why wouldn’t I? I told him; listen I’m an adult, so I date multiple people and when it’s time to commit I will do just that with the right person. That didn’t sit right with him, and then he said: “pretty girls scare me.”

(Like whet)

In my mind, all I saw was a red flag for insecurities he claimed he didn’t have. Instead of me just blocking him (I should have) and going about my business I told him what he said put me in a place where I wasn’t interested. Honey, that’s where it turned on me lol. He asked me not to judge him off that one instance and to give him another shot. I didn’t want to. See, I’m a firm believer in believing people when they show you who they are the first time. So no, there wasn’t a second chance, that may seem harsh to some but when you’ve been dating for five years like me, have had failed relationships, there are sure signs that you CANNOT ignore.

Long story short, after I told him I wasn’t interested and maybe we could be friends his behavior got a little bit aggressive. If I didn’t respond to him fast enough, he would call me to “check me” or hit me up until I did. So, I decided to block him. I didn’t know this man a week ago, and I’m not about to put up with his crazy. Chile, don’t you know after I blocked him he finds me on Facebook just to cuss me out about “using” him for a date. Now wait hold up…. you asked me out, paid for the date at free will and because of your actions, I was no longer interested. I had to send him a message to let him know I was not the cause of this, nor did I “use” him for a date (let’s remember I have options).

Jolie’s what I learned from this experience (there’s plenty more) are these few things below:

Pay attention to red flags!

If you choose to ignore obvious red flags in the beginning due to him being fine, successful, and paying you a little attention…..you’re doomed lol. This is where self-love is important because not every Tom, Dick, and Harry is deserving of you. Be careful ladies. There are a lot of sons of masks out there trying to find wifey.

I’m an old soul living in rough times!

I was raised by my grandmother, and all my siblings are way older than me, so understand I was raised with old school values. Open my door, walk on the side of the street that the cars are on, etc.… I cannot tell you how many “men” think that’s doing too much. Well, I AINT FOR YOU OKURRR.

“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”

Listen, I’m sorry fellas, but the women are tired of dealing with you exclusively just to find out you dealing with Renee, Tonya, and Sharonda okay. We are no longer loyal to the promise of a relationship. You want me, tell me, then prove it.

Give them one point of contact!

If you meet someone give them a phone number, one of your social media accounts, or whats app. DO NOT GIVE THEM ALL AVENUES (i ran into stalker situations recently) and whatever you do, DO NOT GIVE THEM YOUR ADDRESS!

Jolie’s, I think dating is fun, but it can get tiring dealing with different people all the time. Stay safe and be wise. One thing we don’t hear enough of is FOLLOW YOUR INTUITION (she will never steer you wrong).


Alexandra Joli

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