Dating, in my humble opinion, is actively getting out there, meeting new people, and spending time with them. Weighing your options, no serious attachments until you find someone you would like to commit to. In this blog post, I will be letting you all in on dating advice I wish I knew before I got into the dating scene. Let’s hop right into it.
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
- You are not required to date, one person unless you are committed to a special someone.
- In dating, when you focus on one person, you can place expectancy on them instead of meeting them where they are.
- Don’t be pressed! Relax. There’s someone for everyone.
Find yourself before you share YOU with anyone else.
- Knowing you and what you want is crucial in dating, so you don’t settle for less.
- Loving yourself is the key to any successful relationship because if you don’t, you can find yourself codependent on your partner.
- Never search outside yourself for fulfillment.
- Solitude is essential in dating because it’s when you hear yourself best.
- Dating is an exchange of energy. It could be fun but sometimes exhausting. Take time to recharge and balance.
Be honest and be yourself.
- Be yourself, so you don’t have to keep up with an identity you created.
- Be honest always, so the person you’re dating is making a conscious decision to be with you. Don’t find yourself making decisions for others.
Know your worth.
- Set boundaries and stick to them.
- If you don’t want to go on a date… THEN DON’T.
- If you want to leave the date… THEN LEAVE.
- Know that you’re not for everybody and be okay with that.
Dating means to collect data.
- Ask questions! Don’t wait until you’re a whole year in to find out you don’t like the person.
- Questions allow you to see if the person you’re dating is aligned with you. On your frequency/equally yolked.
Last but not least, DO NOT IGNORE RED FLAGS!
- Don’t get so caught up on making someone the one that you make excuses for bad behavior.
- Trust your intuition/ trust your gut: if it doesn’t feel right, believe it.
- Meet people where they are, and understand you cannot change anybody.
Some RED FLAGS to pay attention to but not limited to are:
- They get too serious to fast.
- Lack of consistency.
- They try to push past your boundaries.
- You are their only sense of entertainment.
- They say you’re asking for too much.
- Drama King/Queen
- Seems to be controlling.
- Has nothing to talk about.
- Disrespect (beyond playful or mutual teasing)
- They show no interest in you but what you can do for them.
Jolie’s, I’ll leave you with this. You don’t owe anyone anything. Do what’s best for you, and have fun! Dating doesn’t have to be a lot of L’s; enjoy the experience and be patient.